Sweethearts

disclaimer: this may be a little heavy.

sometimes i feel like i am not good enough as a wife. i always tell myself and try to convince myself that my husband would be better off with another. These thoughts rip me apart. i have little self-coincidence because of it. the thoughts aren't just about my husband they are about all aspects of my life.

I deal with a big enemy on insecurity. 

This enemy loves to hit while you are at your lowest. the other night i did not want to go to ladies night at church. i had a bad day and all i wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch TV shows. my husband said i could buy more sweethearts if i went to church. so obviously the right thing to say at that time was thanks Hun yeah i guess i should go to church. but no that did not come out of my mouth. what i said was " how about two containers of sweethearts" 

who bargains to go to church..... apparently me.

he said "yes it is worth it you can buy two" 

and did i stop there? NO! 

i said "how about fifty containers of sweethearts?" 

like i would be able to eat fifty containers of sweethearts! 

All he said was "if you go to church then yes it is worth it"

so i went to church and afterwards i made a pit stop at Wegman's and only bought two containers.

 

but i walked away from the night with a lot more than the containers. i walk away with a greater sense of self because i could name the enemy in my life and come up with a plan to beat it. 

friday high five

thank god its friday.
i am so glad i made it through this week. i know i shared with you some things that were really hard for me this week, but the whole week was not bad. here are five good things that happened this week...

one... i started a new book this week by beverly lewis called the shunning and it is really, really good. it is part of a three book series and i cannot wait to read all of them. beverly lewis writes books about amish culture which really grabs my attention. i wish sometimes that i was amish because life is much simpler with them.

two... i watched a documentary on the sinking of the costa concordia. it was so interesting. i absolutely love documentaries. since this one was about a cruise ship it made me love it even more. i highly recommend this one, don't worry i still will go on cruises.

three... on tuesday i made pasta for dinner and my husband light candles and turned music on. guess what song it was..... can you feel the love tonight.... it still makes me smile thinking about it. so we sat eating our pasta in only the candle light and with the sweet music from the lion king in the background.

four...wednesday i went to church for a women's night event. it was really amazing and the speaker we had spoke right from her heart. it was great to spend time with other women and worship with them.

five... tomorrow i get to go on a shopping date with my husband. tomorrow is our monthly shopping trip to get groceries. which takes a while because we go to a few different stores. we always go to wegman's (a grocery store) last because they make the best subs in the world. last month i picked the sub and this month it is his turn to pick what kind of sub, and then we share. it is our little tradition and i am looking forward to it!

i hope everyone had a blessed week!