sometimes i feel like i am not good enough as a wife. i always tell myself and try to convince myself that my husband would be better off with another. These thoughts rip me apart. i have little self-coincidence because of it. the thoughts aren't just about my husband they are about all aspects of my life.
I deal with a big enemy on insecurity.
This enemy loves to hit while you are at your lowest. the other night i did not want to go to ladies night at church. i had a bad day and all i wanted to do was lay on the couch and watch TV shows. my husband said i could buy more sweethearts if i went to church. so obviously the right thing to say at that time was thanks Hun yeah i guess i should go to church. but no that did not come out of my mouth. what i said was " how about two containers of sweethearts"
who bargains to go to church..... apparently me.
he said "yes it is worth it you can buy two"
and did i stop there? NO!
i said "how about fifty containers of sweethearts?"
like i would be able to eat fifty containers of sweethearts!
All he said was "if you go to church then yes it is worth it"
so i went to church and afterwards i made a pit stop at Wegman's and only bought two containers.
but i walked away from the night with a lot more than the containers. i walk away with a greater sense of self because i could name the enemy in my life and come up with a plan to beat it.
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